Tyler Hamilton is Looking to the Future

In early September, Tyler Hamilton learned that the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) was dropping its’ appeal to the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) to have his eight year ban from cycling made into a lifetime ban. 

Hamilton retired earlier this year when it was announced that he had tested positive for banned steroid Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA). Hamilton willingly accepted an eight year ban for the offense and, at the time said, “At this time… my focus remains on my mother, my family, battling my depression and getting better. This has been an extremely difficult and trying period, but I am determined to get through it.”

He made himself available for interviews after WADA dropped their appeal and Bike World News was fortunate enough to get a chance to speak with the fallen cycling star about the depression that drove him to seek an over-the-counter medication that contained the DHEA, how his life has changed and what he is doing now.

Tyler says that, although he didn’t know it was depression at the time, he first started feeling the symptoms as a teen. He was quiet, reserved and very shy and struggled with self confidence and self doubt issues that he feels hurt him as a ski racer and soccer player.  

When asked about what he would tell young athletes about the warning signs of depression, Hamilton said, “Listen to what your body is telling you. Be open and honest with your family” if something feels amiss. He added that he thought that depression was a sign of weakness, and that perception added to his unwillingness to tell others about what he was feeling. 

We discussed how there is a reluctance to diagnose depression in teens.  When asked how his life would have been different if he had been diagnosed and started receiving treatment earlier, he said that he would have been happier with himself and comfortable with others and group situations. With depression, he said, “…you end up isolating yourself. If you are comfortable with this issue and can talk about it, it makes life easier.”

Ultimately, Hamilton did not get diagnosed with clinical depression until after the 2003 season. 

He had just come off of what he called his “most successful season”, having won Liege-Bastogne-Liege, a stage at the Tour de France and signing a contract with the new Phonak Hearing Systems team. He returned to the states from Europe and was part of a hometown parade, was interviewed on television and got to throw out the first ball with his beloved Red Sox. 

Within 2 weeks of all of that, he found it hard to get out of bed.  His wife encouraged him to get back onto his bike, but it was very difficult for him to do.  Knowing that his mother had been diagnosed with depression in 2001, she was finally able to convince him to seek treatment. He finally started therapy with a doctor in Boston. 

He talked with the doctor about what he was experiencing and ultimately ended up receiving medication as well as regular talk therapy. He stressed the importance of keeping up with therapy, as there were times that he was not able to see the doctor and he was able to see the negative effects.  

It was just such circumstances that led to Hamilton’s problems earlier this year when his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Having already dealt with the death of his dearly loved dog and a divorce from his wife of nine years, the cancer finding threw him into a tailspin. His focus became his mother and getting her the treatment that she needed, taking him off of the bike as well as his treatment regime for depression. 

He more or less chose to self regulate his depression. He realizes now that was a mistake, saying, “Go see your doctor and talk to your doctor first. Don’t make that mistake. Don’t try to figure it out yourself. “  

As we know now, the depression, along with the pressure of being a team leader at Rock Racing wore hard on him. He said that he became “Very reserved. I tried to hide the way that I was feeling.” However, the difference was obvious to those that were closer to him, such as Rock Racing owner Michael Ball. Hamilton continued, “I spent less time hanging out with Michael and the guys, not doing the usual social things that I would do. That’s a clear sign of depression.” 

Ultimately, Hamilton chose to try and treat himself with a non prescription homeopathic anti-depressive that contained DHEA, a steroid which is on the banned substances list. An out-of-competition test just prior to the start of the Tour of California found the substance in his blood. 

Tyler now spends his days living near family in Cambridge, Massachusetts.  He now meets with a therapist on a weekly basis and is on new medication. His mother’s breast cancer is in remission and was about to have some follow up tests. 

He says that he is, “focused on helping others and doing a lot of coaching right now.” He still enjoys riding his bike, but says that it has been nice to slow down. 

We talked about Marco Pantani, David Clinger, Chad Gerlach, Frank Vandenbrouke [the interview was prior to Vandenbrouke’s death] and I asked Hamilton if he felt that depression was more common in sport. He said, “At any given moment, six percent of the population is suffering [from depression]. It may be higher in cycling. There is a lot of pressure that you put on yourself and that others put on you. There’s not a whole lot of time to sit and relax and focus on yourself. “   He said that several riders have pulled him aside and told him quietly that they also suffer from depression. 

We talked about studies that have indicated that exercise can help to alleviate the symptoms of depression.  He agreed that exercise was beneficial, saying that, “I always felt better when I was riding”, but stressed that his advice to those feeling the symptoms of depression, “see a doctor first, but keep riding.”

I closed our discussion with a question about therapeutic use exemptions. There are plenty of athletes that get exemptions for allergy medications and other medications on the banned substances list. He felt that DHEA, combined with other things, is a great anti-depressant and that TUE’s for it should definitely be allowed. He also felt that athletes feeling the effects of depression should be allowed to take personal time and recover without stigma and without the threat of losing their contract.    

I want to thank Tyler for taking the time to speak to me. I feel that we haven’t seen the last of him. I fully expect to see him out there as an advocate for mental health in the future.