Registration opened on Saturday at 7AM for March 28th’s Monkey Knife Fight. There are still spots left, less than 100 for the Gorilla, but they won’t last. Register now and join us for another year of monkeying around.
“I’ll be at the top of the hill to discuss your life choices with you,” said Monkey Knife Fight organizer Dave Pryor at the riders meeting at the 2019 event. And there was good reason for him to say that. Shortly afterward, the 150 riders tackling the Gorilla route rolled out behind the mayor of Emmaus, PA, and started their 75-mile journey through the hills and gravel roads around the Lehigh Valley. Another 150 left soon after for the Baboon (50-mile) and Marmot (30-mile) routes.
Monkey Knife Fight started back in 2008 as a training ride organized by Mark Bowman of South Mountain Cycles as preparation for the Tour of Battenkill. Bowman led the small group of riders out on his motorcycle and would jump ahead to the top of climbs to score points as riders finished the climbs. Over the 11 years of the event, 10 editions have been held, with one year being snowed out. Some riders did ride that year, but they agreed it wasn’t the wisest choice.
It’s not a race. I think we repeated that about 10 times during the riders meeting. There are no rider numbers, no clocks, no officials, just a band of merry volunteers and riders enjoying a beautiful day, and supporting the fight against cancer. There was also a good amount of beer, food trucks, and raffle prizes waiting for us at the finish.
At registration, you get one of the coolest things I ever got from a race. Since we were all a bunch of monkeys, we were given a banana. It was a zippered pouch to collect raffle tickets with. For each categorized climb completed along the route, you get a raffle ticket. Some people looped it around their bars or seat post, others stuffed it in their jersey pocket. It’s something that I’ve continued to use often on rides since the event.
My teammate, Ben, and I rolled out with the rest of the baboons and quickly settled in with a group of riders from the area. Some of them I know from the cyclocross scene, while other ranged from local racers to more casual riders looking to challenge themselves to something new.
I race cyclocross, and have ridden the JAM Fund Grand Fondo, which has a few little gravel sections in it, but Monkey Knife Fight, the Lu Lacka Wyco Hundo and unPAved PA are the first proper gravel events I’ve done. Gravel has peaked my interest, because it combines the mixed terrain of cyclocross with the challenge of endurance distance events. Instead of riding around in circles at the local crits, it offers a new challenge that many riders are looking for these days.
It wasn’t long until we hit our first section of gravel, which is what I was looking forward to. It was relatively tame by my standards. The hard-packed dirt mixed with some larger rocks was relatively smooth due to regular automobile traffic. As we rode on, we found many of the gravel sections to be like this, though many also featured some challenging climbs.
In years past, the ride supported the fight against cancer through the Pennsylvania Perimeter Ride Against Cancer. With the ride coming to an end, Monkey Knife Fight is picking up where the PPRAC left off in supporting the Dream Come True charities. Dream Come True benefits seriously, chronically, and terminally ill children.
For the 2019 event, we couldn’t have asked for a better day. Temperatures climbed into the 60’s as the day went on under a blue sky with a few clouds throughout the ride. As the course meandered through the countryside, it was well planned that there was a central hub that acted as a rest stop and command center for the event. Located at a church parking lot, the rest stop was stocked with plenty of yummy treats and much-needed fuel and hydration. It was an oasis at the top of the hill, with cheerful volunteers ready to launch you off on your next adventure.
There were many gravel sections throughout the course, but also a significant amount of road. For days like ours, you could get away with a road bike with 28mm tires. We both chose cyclocross bikes with 700x35mm tires. The Schwalbe G-One Speed tires we definitely up to the task, even on the steep dirt and gravel climbs. If conditions would have been wet, something like the G-One All-round would have been a better choice. Since the aide station was a central hub, I only used the Backcountry top tube and saddle packs from Apidura, leaving the frame pack at home. To take the edge off, I went with the 3.2mm thick bar tape from LizardSkins.
The highlight of the ride for me was Goat Hill. It was one of many challenging climbs along the course. Others were long grinders, but Goat Hill was steep, dirt, and relentless. There is no run-up to it, just a right turn and start climbing. In 0.22 miles, you climb 128ft, and hit a maximum of about a 24 percent grade according to Strava. There were times I was just about laying on my stem to keep the front end down while I did my best to keep my absoluteBLACK oval 42×36 gear spinning up the hill. All along the hill, I could see marks in the dirt from spinning tires and cleats as people decided to walk. I was determined to reach the top, and was greeted by friends as Bonnie Taylor’s “Turn Around” was ironically playing at the top.
We began the loop back to the finish, and reflected on the day we spent in the saddle. Ben was struggling a little with some pain from a previous injury, but we triumphantly returned to the start where the party had already started. We changed out of our kits and grabbed our beer glasses to recover and refuel after a great ride. The Funk Brewing Company and Weyerbacher beer was flowing and the food trucks were churning bowl after bowl of delicious nachos and ice cream. As we ate and waited for the raffles, we caught up with other riders and shared stories from the ride. Ben and I both agreed that we couldn’t wait for the 2020 event.
Heckling Editor, Image Taker, Crash Test Dummy, and Beard Master at Bikeworldnews.com
~Veggie Powered Athlete~
Location – Lancaster, PA
Current Testing Rigs – 2024 Van Dessel Arch65, 2019 Van Dessel Full Tilt Boogie, 2018 Van Dessel Motivus Maximus LTD, 2016 Van Dessel Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, 2015 Bianchi Sempre Pro, 1978 Trek TX900
Dream Bike – I’ll tell you when they make it
Discipline – Cyclocross, gravel, road and duathlons (ride/run)
Favorite Rides – Quiet country roads of Amish Country, some of the best roads around.
Food of Choice – Sweet potato roll
Beer of Choice – Unibroue Grand Reserve 17, aged four years
Bourbon of Choice – Widow Jane 10 Year